Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
There are times in life when it is best to just let go of the wheel. Often letting go is the hardest thing to do. Lately it has not been so difficult. After four years of trying to rationalize my way out of a situation, I am exhausted. This has caused the interesting side effect of being in a state of total calm under circumstances that should naturally produce the opposite reaction. Well, either I have gone completely off the deep end or have finally surrendered to God's will and know that only he can ordain the miracle we need and so desperately desire.
I also have a constant awareness of how precious time is. I do not for one second take my life for granted. I appreciate the many blessing that have been given to me. Sometimes I sit in amazement at how lucky I have been to find such an amazing husband and friend. When looking back at my life over the past seven years, I see the beautiful beginnings to a wonderful piece of art. I truly believe that our strength is in each other. It humbles me to think that our life is divinely directed; this fact also gives me peace. Thank you lord for my extraordinary life and the perspective to see beyond our struggles.
I also have a constant awareness of how precious time is. I do not for one second take my life for granted. I appreciate the many blessing that have been given to me. Sometimes I sit in amazement at how lucky I have been to find such an amazing husband and friend. When looking back at my life over the past seven years, I see the beautiful beginnings to a wonderful piece of art. I truly believe that our strength is in each other. It humbles me to think that our life is divinely directed; this fact also gives me peace. Thank you lord for my extraordinary life and the perspective to see beyond our struggles.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Thoughts
I usually don't post anything this personal but then In the spirit of the rambling below; I thought I need to do what I fear in order to grow. So in the spirit of personal growth, here it goes.
What I fear today
Today, and for sometime now, I have feared that my greatest fear has come true. Growing up I had one great fear, that I would live my life without making a mark or a difference. I did not just want to exist but to radiate through life. I am sure at the time I did not quite understand what this meant. I had a romanticized idea of becoming some kind of heroin of leading the type of life that inspired epic stories and life changing movies. Naive, yes, and now I find that this great fear has indeed become a reality and even though I have gained some wisdom with age, I find that I am still driven by the fear of existence. My idea of how to avoid mediocrity has changed. I no longer believe that my story needs to make movies and inspire books but I am still driven by the need to make a difference. A profound passion that burns deep in my heart to give hope to others. I find that my fear of invisibility has found a new home in the inability to have children. I see this childhood fear tightening its grip as I realize that the possibility of growing old and not knowing the joy of having a family of my own. This is not the only thing that has caused me to feel that I am destined to be nothing more than a wonderer with high hopes and dreams. The past three years have been a devastating reminder of the deep and tremendous flaws that make up who I am. As depressing as this sounds, I know that there is hope. I know that my life is not over and that where hope dwells things will change. Why do I let my fears rule me? I may feel like I am not good enough, strong enough or smart enough; but, my journey is not mine to decide. My purpose is not defined by what I think I can do but by what God knows I am capable of. I may fear a great deal of things but fear makes us lose perspective of reality. I may die one day, without family to call my own. The world may think that my little family is small and insignificant but it is not. We hold more love than most and have found something worth holding on to. Isn’t that enough? I may fear insignificance, it is not going to stop me from trying. What does fear do to us? It cripples us from moving forward and blinds us from our accomplishments. Fear stops us from taking chances. So, today I look at my fear, my greatest stronghold and know that it will not stop me from walking. I will not allow my fear to amplify my struggles or mock me when I fall. I will not listen when fear tells me I am not good enough. I do not need to be magnificent, perfect or of great importance to fulfill my dreams. What I do have to do is stop focusing on my self and focus on what I was made for, and since I don’t know the answer to that, I will consult my maker. He knows my ability, purpose and path and in him I will find my strength and courage to keep on walking.
What I fear today
Today, and for sometime now, I have feared that my greatest fear has come true. Growing up I had one great fear, that I would live my life without making a mark or a difference. I did not just want to exist but to radiate through life. I am sure at the time I did not quite understand what this meant. I had a romanticized idea of becoming some kind of heroin of leading the type of life that inspired epic stories and life changing movies. Naive, yes, and now I find that this great fear has indeed become a reality and even though I have gained some wisdom with age, I find that I am still driven by the fear of existence. My idea of how to avoid mediocrity has changed. I no longer believe that my story needs to make movies and inspire books but I am still driven by the need to make a difference. A profound passion that burns deep in my heart to give hope to others. I find that my fear of invisibility has found a new home in the inability to have children. I see this childhood fear tightening its grip as I realize that the possibility of growing old and not knowing the joy of having a family of my own. This is not the only thing that has caused me to feel that I am destined to be nothing more than a wonderer with high hopes and dreams. The past three years have been a devastating reminder of the deep and tremendous flaws that make up who I am. As depressing as this sounds, I know that there is hope. I know that my life is not over and that where hope dwells things will change. Why do I let my fears rule me? I may feel like I am not good enough, strong enough or smart enough; but, my journey is not mine to decide. My purpose is not defined by what I think I can do but by what God knows I am capable of. I may fear a great deal of things but fear makes us lose perspective of reality. I may die one day, without family to call my own. The world may think that my little family is small and insignificant but it is not. We hold more love than most and have found something worth holding on to. Isn’t that enough? I may fear insignificance, it is not going to stop me from trying. What does fear do to us? It cripples us from moving forward and blinds us from our accomplishments. Fear stops us from taking chances. So, today I look at my fear, my greatest stronghold and know that it will not stop me from walking. I will not allow my fear to amplify my struggles or mock me when I fall. I will not listen when fear tells me I am not good enough. I do not need to be magnificent, perfect or of great importance to fulfill my dreams. What I do have to do is stop focusing on my self and focus on what I was made for, and since I don’t know the answer to that, I will consult my maker. He knows my ability, purpose and path and in him I will find my strength and courage to keep on walking.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Weekend with a BIG hole
Talk about a boat full of fun. Sam and I spent veterans day weekend at the Grand Canyon and surrounding areas. What a beautiful place, a return visit will be in order. We put a link to a few of our favorite pictures. If you have never taken a camping trip to this area, now maybe you will be convinced.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Pacific Rim Photography Exhibition
Digital Photography Exhibition Dates Announced
LYNCHBURG. The dates have been finalized for a first ever exhibition of its type at Virginia’s own Liberty University. The IMAGES OF THE PACIFIC RIM exhibition will run from September 15th through October 15th on the Liberty campus.
What makes this exhibition is that the photographers are expatriate workers who live in restricted access countries in the Pacific Rim. Identities are not revealed and the four artists are only known by their initials, DT, SS, GD, TK and DH. Well over 50 high quality images will be exhibited on the 2nd floor of DeMoss Learning Center in the ILRC area.
The exhibition is jointly sponsored by Liberty’s Department of Communication Studies, Visual Communication and Arts major and the Center for Global Ministry. Liberty University was founded by the Rev Jerry Falwell. LU has 9800 residential students and over 14000 enrolled in its distance learning program.
Details of the exhibition as well as profiles of the artists can be found on http://pacificrim-images.blogspot.com.
LYNCHBURG. The dates have been finalized for a first ever exhibition of its type at Virginia’s own Liberty University. The IMAGES OF THE PACIFIC RIM exhibition will run from September 15th through October 15th on the Liberty campus.
What makes this exhibition is that the photographers are expatriate workers who live in restricted access countries in the Pacific Rim. Identities are not revealed and the four artists are only known by their initials, DT, SS, GD, TK and DH. Well over 50 high quality images will be exhibited on the 2nd floor of DeMoss Learning Center in the ILRC area.
The exhibition is jointly sponsored by Liberty’s Department of Communication Studies, Visual Communication and Arts major and the Center for Global Ministry. Liberty University was founded by the Rev Jerry Falwell. LU has 9800 residential students and over 14000 enrolled in its distance learning program.
Details of the exhibition as well as profiles of the artists can be found on http://pacificrim-images.blogspot.com.
Labor Day in Korea
Today Sam and I took advantage of a beautiful afternoon and headed to Susong Lake. This manmade pond is a popular resort area in Daegu. We walked around for a few hours thoroughly enjoying the cool weather. Korea has a knack for adding health benefits to just about everything. On the pathway around the lake we came across an interesting way to receive reflexology while you walk. In the middle of the path was a secondary path of tiny rocks. Walking across them in shoes feels nice but after seeing an older woman going at it with bare feet we thought, "When in Rome." OUCH, it hurt and we thought it best to receive our "foot massages, “with our shoes on. Then we saw some birds and I got attacked by a water fountain, as seen in the pictures below. Next Sam and I headed home to get ready for a night on the town. After two years we finally found Indian food in Daegu. We had only been there once before with our friends prior to my trip to California but had forgotten where it was and had no way of asking for directions. Surprisingly we found it without any trouble and enjoyed a wonderful meal of curry and naan. After dinner we got some coffee and strolled around downtown. All in all a good day and that is always something to share.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Hello and Welcome
Welcome to the new edition of the S&J Edition. This is our area to tell you what were doing, thinking and whatever else comes into our heads. We are anything but politically correct and will probably offend more that a few readers but I believe in speaking your mind. After all, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss.
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